Fearless Leader Joe and I crossed a lot of cattle guards as we made our way across England. Each time we did, I was curious why — were we riding into a grazing area? I had a few seconds to contemplate this each time because FLJ would usually dismount to cross the guards. (I just ploughed right through.)

All this wondering came to an abrupt head one fair afternoon when we found ourselves winding along a path in the midst of a herd of cattle — some of which had horns on their heads! I very quickly ascertained that, despite the horns, all the cattle present were sporting udders. And I’m happy to report that they were far less interested in us than we were in them.